From today’s b, the paper

LIKE A VIRGIN? BID ON ONE
One economic plan not advocated by Sens. McCain and Obama: Selling your virginity to the highest bidder.

That’s what a 22-year-old San Diego woman is doing to help pay for her college education, Reuters reports. The auction was turned down by eBay, so it will take place at an undetermined time at Nevada brothel Moonlite Bunny Ranch, where her sister works. I wonder if it will be filmed for that HBO documentary series? Stay tuned!

The student, who’s using the pseudonym Natalie Dylan, said, “We live in a capitalist society. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity?” Yes, Natalie, undoubtedly Karl Mark would approve.

Bloggers are foaming at the mouth. “I must say I feel sad for the future of our society,” said Mike from Montclair State University in New Jersey, where he majors in over-reaction with a minor in lameness.

But Dennis Hof, owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, is all about it. “I think it’s a tremendous idea. Why lose it to some guy in the backseat of a Toyota when you can pay for your education?” he said.
That’s always been my motto.

SEXYTIME WITH OBAMA
So that “Obama Sex Tape” e-mail that either horrified or intrigued you?

Yeah, it’s a virus, reports foxnews.com. The e-mail, “Barack Obama sex story with girls,” comes from the seemingly reliable address obamasex@obama.com and says “Barack Obama in 2007 was travel to Ukraine and have sex action with many ukrainian girls!”

Apparently, Borat is behind this thing. What you really get from opening it, though, are PC viruses from Eastern Europe, which everyone knows are the worst kind of PC viruses.

Man charged with sexually assaulting comatose wife
How low can David Johnson go?

The Wisconsin man was videotaped by police. Having sex. With his comatose wife. In her nursing home room.

Johnson, 59, has been charged with felony sexual assault for having sex with his wife without her consent at least three times in 2005, according to AP. Johnson is saying his Fourth Amendment rights were violated when police installed a hidden video camera in the room. He expected privacy, you know, to sex up his comatose wife. Johnson’s wife, Leah, was admitted to the home after suffering a stroke.

LOVE IN THIS CLUB
The first rule of sex clubs: If you’re 6 years old, you shouldn’t be in one.

Newspaper Australian News reports an elementary school in Brisbane has discovered a club in which students perform sex acts on each other in school bathrooms. Elsewhere, 9-year-old boys were accused of “grooming children,” some as young as 5 to “become sexual,” rewarding them with lollipops.

Jordan Bartel is assistant editor at b. E-mail him at jordan@bthesite.com

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