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In Phelps We Trust

by b | October 2, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Posted in Baltimore, Michael Phelps, Olympics, b the paper, celebrity, sports


When Michael Phelps left his mother’s house in Rodgers Forge four years ago, he was — despite his six gold medals and his 19 years on Earth — still a boy in almost every sense.

Last week, he returned to Baltimore a 23-year-old man, not to his mother’s house in Baltimore County but to a condo in Fells Point that he bought for $1.7 million. In addition to eight more gold medals, he’s brought with him a longing for what he once left behind: family, old friends, NFL football and the familiar sound of Baltimore accents.

He concedes life will be different. How different, he isn’t sure.

“I want it to be as close to [normal] as possible,” Phelps said in an interview the day after he won his eighth gold medal, the most of anyone in a single Olympics. “But I have no idea.”

But others, including his coach, Bob Bowman, and some of Baltimore’s most famous athletes, say that Phelps’ life — especially in Baltimore — is going to be drastically different.

There is every indication that he and Bowman will expand and improve the facilities of the North Baltimore Aquatic Club. Phelps, though, is unlikely to begin training again until February at the earliest, and he won’t swim a serious race until the 2009 FINA World Championships in Rome in late July.

In the interim, there will be countless mornings when he does not climb out of bed until at least noon. There will be Ravens games, evenings on the town with childhood friends, beautiful women and all the spoils of fame. He’d even like to play in the World Series of Poker, if he can sharpen his game in time.

“I’m going to live my life the way I always have,” Phelps said. “I’m going to do the things I’ve always done and hang out with the people I’ve always hung out with.”

Will that be possible? His personal life is subject to a new level of scrutiny — a trade-off that comes with fame. Phelps will try to lie low, at least as much as he can. He’ll be reunited with Herman, his English bulldog, and some evenings it will be just the two of them, adjusting to their new life. {THE BALTIMORE SUN}

The Michael Phelps Worldwide Tour (where he’s been since Beijing)

Aug. 17: Michael Phelps and the United States 4×100 medley relay team win the gold medal at “the Water Cube,” giving Phelps his Olympic-record eighth gold of the Beijing Games.

Aug. 24: Phelps touches down in London for the handoff ceremony for the 2012 Olympic Games. While in London, he takes time to hit some tennis balls at Wimbledon.

Aug. 26: After leaving England, Phelps heads to Portugal where he is able to lie low for the first time in months. He goes golfing — one of his new interests — and relaxes with friends.

Aug. 28: While in New York City for a guest spot on the “Today” show, Phelps bumps into the cast and crew of HBO’s “Entourage,” and films a spontaneous cameo for the television show on the spot. The cameo will appear sometime this season.

Aug. 29: Super Bowl standouts head to Disney World after the big game. Apparently, the same goes if you win eight gold medals. Phelps is the guest of honor in a victory parade at Disney, where the goofy Olympic hero gets to hang with Goofy.

Sept. 3: Phelps joins more than 150 other U.S. Olympians in Chicago to film the season premiere of the “Oprah Winfrey Show,” which aired Sept. 8. Oprah yells a lot and tries to pry into his personal life. What else is new?

Sept. 4: The Rodgers Forge native jetsets to Las Vegas and is spotted by the paparazzi at the The Playboy Club in the Palms Casino, where he famously can’t keep his fins off a scantily clad member of the wait staff.

Sept. 7: Phelps heads to the MTV Video Music Awards in Los Angeles. He is given the task of introducing his favorite rapper, Lil Wayne, but stumbles through his lines a little bit. He says later he was nervous.

Sept. 8: Phelps makes a guest appearance on the “Tonight Show with Jay Leno,” which was surprising to us because we didn’t realize Leno was still on the air. Phelps has fun, though.

Sept. 9: The golden boy heads back to New York City, where he and fellow American swimmers Ryan Lochte and Natalie Coughlin are honorary bell ringers at the New York Stock Exchange.

Sept. 13: Outside of the Beijing Games, Phelps was never under a more intense microscope than when he hosted “Saturday Night Live.” His comedic performance is so-so, but Tina Fey saves the day with her spot-on Sarah Palin impersonation.

Sept. 14: The world’s most famous Ravens fan is in enemy territory, watching the Steelers-Browns game in Cleveland. He cheers on Braylon Edwards, a friend at Michigan, and knocks back a few Coronas. Out of cans. Classy.

Sept. 21: Phelps guests on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” and appears in a skit spoofing the ABC hospital drama “Grey’s Anatomy.” In the skit, it finally looks like he’s starting to get the hang of this acting thing. Kind of. He only has a couple of lines.

Sept. 27: Phelps is honored at the Michigan-Wisconsin college football game in Ann Arbor, Mich., where he attended school for four years. He wears a No. 8 Wolverines jersey for obvious reasons.

Oct. 4: He’s been back in Baltimore for more than a week, but Saturday’s parade is his first major public appearance — unless you count him getting shut down at the door of a Fells Point bar the other night. Maybe he isn’t too big for Charm City after all. {MATT VENSEL, B}

What If Phelps Came Up Short? Imagine the Alternate Reality

Without going eight-for-eight in Beijing, Michael Phelps would not be the celebrity he is today.

Fourteen career gold medals brought him global fame and enough endorsement deals to fill the pool at North Baltimore Aquatic Club with cash and swim around in it like Scrooge McDuck. But in an alternate reality — with a mere 13 accolades — he would have been busted back from international superstar to moderately recognizable local personality.

And he would have had to do local ads.

Hey, you have to pay the bills, and if Visa and Kellogg’s aren’t calling, there’s money to be made in the semi-lucrative and hilarious world of Baltimore’s low-budget television advertisements.

A Phelpsian “Go GEBCO” commercial would be an instant comedy classic. Picture six feet, four inches of goofy white guy bopping to the beat of low-priced car insurance, surrounded by a coterie of dancing beauties in their finest denim miniskirts. Yeah, it’s not pretty. GEBCO alum Jonathan Ogden would look like Mikhail Baryshnikov by comparison. You know they would make Phelps wear a swimsuit, too.

Full-on dancing might be unfeasible for Phelps, who’s less than graceful on dry land. Eastern Motors could work better. He’d just have to nod his head in time with the music, explain how your job’s your credit, and try not to look visibly weirded out by the creepy faux Redskin player in the ad.

The granddaddy of awfully mesmerizing local TV ads, Mr. Ray’s Hair Weave, went out of business years ago, but Phelps would have been a natural spokesperson for the late, lamented hair purveyor. The majority of Phelps’ “Saturday Night Live” laughs stemmed from his willingness to wear ridiculous wigs, so he’s probably game for asking Mr. Ray to “put that hair on MY head.” We can only imagine the towering fades or pyramidal bobs that could have been.

Alas, all Phelps has on his head is a product-placed Speedo cap, and he probably already has car insurance from some multinational conglomerate with a spokes-gecko. But if his star ever dims, he should keep in mind that if he has a phone, he has a lawyer. And a slightly less-than-dignified revenue stream. {CLARE LOCHARY, SPECIAL TO B}


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1 response.

  1. If Gebco wouldn't take him, he could try Senate auto insurance and tell other insurance companies to kiss his bumper! just kiss it!