When paying for phone sex, it’s probably best not to use your mother’s credit card {thanks, istock}

Imagine not just getting caught by your mom when paying for phone sex, but also being arrested for it.

That’s exactly what happened to 25-year-old Mackenzie Patrick Riede, whom we’re pretty sure is looking for a nice, big rock to hide under for several years.

AP reports that Riede, who lives in Sheffield, Ala. (population: one idiot), has been charged with credit card fraud after he used his mom’s card to pay for phone sex.

Police say Riede, who faces three counts of fraudulent credit card use, ran up more than $300 in charges calling 1-900 numbers. Sidenote: Is that a lot of money for this kind of thing? I’ll have to find a skeezy neighbor and ask.

Detective Chad Carruth said Riede’s mother didn’t know her card had been used until she got the bill, and she then called police after her son admitted making the calls. When police arrived to question him, Riede fled and hid under a neighbor’s porch, so, yup, he also faces resisting arrest charges.

If convicted, his felony carries a penalty of up to 10 years in jail. And 100 years of ridicule.

michaels risks life to ‘pleasure’ women
Poison frontman Bret Michaels, currently nursing a Tony Awards-falling-set induced fractured nose and the realization that no one cared, recently told Elle magazine that he literally risks his life for better sex, independent.ie reports.

“I will sometimes hold off on the insulin … It’s like how a prizefighter will want to go into the ring with his blood sugar levels high,” Michaels said in the back-page interview. “It gives you the stamina of a bull. So, yes, sometimes I will endanger my own life to pleasure a woman.”

shagging in cars de rigueur in wales
Well hello, guv’ner. According to a poll from United Kingdom’s car insurance price comparison site confused.com, half of Welsh respondents said they’ve had sex in their cars.

Actually, U.K. paper The Sun said they admitted to “having a quick,” which we think is another awesome U.K. euphemism for doing the nasty. So, civilized!

Will Thomas, confused.com’s head of motor insurance and chief Debbie Downer, told said that lack of focus in cars could drive up premiums. “Drivers are exposing themselves when multitasking,” he said. We don’t think he intended for that to be a joke.

That’ll do, LaBeouf. that’ll do
Shia LaBeouf has continued giving too much information about his parents.

LaBeouf, who recently called his mother “the sexiest woman I know,” now says he got his sense of humor from watching his parents have sex, Us reports.

“My humor came from seeing my parents have sex, smoke weed, my mom being naked — just weird hippie stuff, twisted R -rated humor,” he told Parade magazine. An example of that awesome sense of humor: In the same interview he admitted to being an alcoholic. “Why am I an alcoholic? I haven’t an f—ing clue.” Funny!

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