One of the images for the guerilla marketing strategy for energy drink Blow. Groan.

Imagine this: A (high) energy drink that you buy in white powder form. It’s measured in grams. Oh, and it’s called “Blow.”

It doesn’t get much worse than this, America. As if there weren’t enough lame energy drinks, now there’s one that models itself off cocaine. And in case you’re wondering, it’ll give you the jitters, just like the nose candy. One serving of Blow equates two Red Bulls and three cups of coffee, according to KTLA. You have to be 18+ to purchase it, but it’s available online as well.

Of course, parents are worried because that’s how parents are, but Blow (the drink has a Web site, too. iloveblow.com. For real.) raises other, more vital issues. Like … WHAT’S UP WITH THESE ENERGY DRINK COMPANIES? Monster, Rockstar, Full Throttle and now Blow all have a common irritating thread — their marketing plans seem directly inspired by other gaudy, douche brands such as Affliction, Ed Hardy, etc. There’s no subtlety, just very questionable tastes and a desire to be EXXXTREME.

If you’re that intrigued by drug culture, it might be time to bypass the drink modeled after the drug, and look into … something else. Not that we’re condoning drug use, but seriously, Blow seems almost as bad as the real thing.

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