Strange things happen when a book series sells 70 million copies.

Now, as “New Moon, the second film in the “Twilight” saga smashes box office records (see box), “Nightlight” has landed in bookstores. It’s a parody written by the Harvard Lampoon, a group of Ivy League undergrads.

Penned by four Harvard students — two sophomore women and two senior men — “Nightlight” is a quick-reading, comedic send-up of the cultural phenomenon. Its 154 pages follow the “Twilight” template but change every detail, from the glossy black cover with a chewed-to-the core apple to the come-hither copy on the back jacket, which reads: “About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe.”

A computer geek with an awful name and even worse affliction — nosebleeds — Edwart Mullen is not a vampire, much as his classmate and wannabe love interest would like to believe.

The U-Haul-driving Belle Goose is a recent transplant to the incredibly soggy Oregon town of Switchblade. An epic klutz who regularly knocks over her classmates and believes everyone from the mailman to the IRS agent to the entire male population of Switchblade High is in love with her, Belle is nevertheless “in the deepest love that has ever occurred in the history of the world” with Edwart.

“Looking into his eyes, I felt waves of electricity, currents of electrons charging toward me. Was this how it felt to be in love … for robots?”

Edwart, she is convinced, is irresistibly attracted to the scent of her blood, which she describes as “grapefruit.” LOS ANGELES TIMES

‘NEW MOON’ RECORDS
•••• $72.7 million: Biggest opening day ever, surpassing the $67.2 million haul of “The Dark Knight.”
•••• $26.3 million: Largest tally of midnight ticket sales, cruising past “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” ($22.2 million).
•••• $140.7 million: Estimated third-largest weekend box office ever, behind “The Dark Knight” ($158 million) and “Spider-Man 3” ($151 million).

Jackson’s moonwalk glove nets $350K
The white glove Michael Jackson wore when he premiered his moonwalk in 1983 was auctioned off for $350,000. Winning bidder Hoffman Ma of Hong Kong will pay $420,000, including taxes and fees, for the rhinestone-studded golf glove. Its pre-auction estimate: $40,000 to $60,000. AP

eminem’s relapse 2 pushed back to 2010
Eminem and Interscope Records have announced that Relapse 2 will drop in 2010 instead of later this year, and a CD called Relapse: Refill will come out instead on Dec. 21. The Refill album is a re-release of Relapse and includes seven bonus tracks. AP

time to pay up, phelps! cali needs your taxes
TMZ.com reports Baltimore Olympian Michael Phelps owes California $23,289.16 for tax returns in 2005 and 2006, according to a still-active tax lien filed last year. Maybe he should consider pawning one of his shiny metals. JORDAN BARTEL, B

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