The “Jersey Shore” gang: standing L to R: Angelina, Jenni, Nicole and Mike; second row L to R: Vinnie, DJ Pauly D, Ronnie and Sammy {thanks, MTV}

‘Jersey Shore’ had us at first fist pump.

MTV’s latest reality venture (think “Real World” meets “True Life: Jersey Shore”) puts eight self-proclaimed Guidos and Guidettes (officially now a term) into a house in Seaside Heights, N.J., where the bodies are tanned and the romantic shenanigans as numerous as the guys’ necklace options.

Before the show premieres with back-to-back episodes starting at 10 p.m. Thursday, get to know the buff and bad summer-share roomies. JORDAN BARTEL, B

Angelina, 22
hometown: Staten Island, N.Y.
nickname: “Jolie”
character trait: “If Angelina has something on her mind, it’ll be out of her mouth before you know it.” Hmm, just like the real Angelina Jolie — minus the United Nations refugee work.
big question: Will she stay faithful to her new boyfriend? You probably already know the answer to this puzzler.
wild card: Appears to be the only Guidette willing to wear a pink barrette.

Mike, 27
hometown: Staten Island
nickname: “The Situation”
character trait: Actually calls his “300”-esque abs, “the situation.”
big question: Can someone with so much game actually have a sensitive side? Plus, really? Abs called “the situation”!?!
wild card: “Knows what he wants from his summer … and is not going to let anything stop him from getting it.” Not sure what this means, but we’re along for the ride.

Nicole, 21
hometown: Marlboro, N.Y.
nickname: “Snookie”
character trait: The shortie of the bunch, her height “has been as much of a strength as it has been an obstacle.” Apparently, her stature “colors her summer at the Shore in a big way.” Maybe the Guinness World Records folks show up.
big question: If she really is “looking to meet the man of her dreams,” is the Jersey Shore the best place to spend a summer?
wild card: Kind of reminds us of a tanned Smurf — yet we’re already frightened by her.

DJ Pauly D, 28
hometown: Johnston, R.I.
nickname: Well, we think “DJ Pauly D” isn’t on his birth certificate.
character traits: Keeps a tanning bed in his house, orders gel by the case and does his hair twice a day (once in the morning, once before he hits the town). In other words, Gudious Maximus.
big question: There are Guidos who live in Rhode Island? Also, if you’re “Rhode Island’s most well-known DJ,” are you still really that well known?
wild card: As an extreme clean freak, living with seven other high-maintenance folks might be challenging.

Ronnie, 23
hometown: The Bronx, N.Y.
nickname: None. He and Vinnie should get together and work something out.
character traits: The beefiest of the guys (quite a feat), he nevertheless calls himself more of a lover than a fighter.
BIG QUESTION: Can a Guido pull off a fauxhawk?

Vinnie, 21
hometown: Staten Island
nickname: Sadly, no.
character traits: A self-proclaimed mama’s boy and natural entertainer
big question: How can he call himself a Guido since he’s sans enough hair to add gel?
wild card: Just turned 21 and has been “waiting for this summer his whole life.” Better add 911 to the house speed dial.

Jenni, 23
hometown:
Franklin Square, N.Y.
nickname: “J-WOW”
character traits: Impulsive, spontaneous and a “party girl with zero self-control.” Looks as if Ruthie from “Real World: Hawaii” has a new reality-show doppelganger!
dubious bio detail: That guys actually say, “J-WOW” when she walks into a bar. Guess we’ll have to wait and see.
big question: Has a boyfriend, but “all bets are off” at the Jersey Shore. “Bets” as well as most clothes.
wild card: Has a softer side. She becomes the big sister of the house, though we’re unsure just how responsible a Jersey Shore big sister can be.

Sammy, 22
hometown: Hazlet, N.J.
nickname: The redundant “Sammy Sweetheart”
character trait: A lifelong serial dater, she’s now single. Get some, Jersey boys.
big question: Just how many guys will she bed this heady summer?
wild card: Apparently, her exes include Mike and Ronnie. Shocking that MTV would put them all in the same house, no?

Jordan Bartel is assistant editor at b. E-mail him at jordan@bthesite.com

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