Andy Roddick + koalas = unrequited love {thanks, AP}

Happy new mayor … uh, we mean, new year!

Just eight days into twenty-ten (our official pronunciation choice) and Mayor Dixon (and her prized assortment of sweater-shawl-blankets) is out and Stephanie Rawlings-Blake-Jolie-Pitt is in.

Plus, it took only eight days for something bad to happen to Lindsay Lohan (granted, it was just a friend stealing her “fashion line” designs. But it’s a situation that’s perfectly Lohanian).

Tear yourself away from listening to “Tik Tok,” and take in our pop-culture review of the first week of 2010.

BEST ‘JERSEY SHORE’-RELATED STORY: DJ Pauly D gives Michael Cera his signature blowout.

SECOND-BEST ‘JERSEY SHORE’-RELATED NEWS: Ronnie’s arrest will be in an upcoming episode.

WEIRDEST ‘JERSEY SHORE’-RELATED DEBATE: We actually have thought about who would win in a fight: Snooki or Sookie from “True Blood.” It was a long holiday break, OK!

RESUME REGRET: Several stories about Vince Vaughn’s marriage refer to him as “‘Couples Retreat’ star Vince Vaughn.” Ouch.

BEST AFTER-SCHOOL SPECIAL IN THE MAKING: Elton John helping Eminem with his drug addiction

CHRISTIAN SLATER FINALLY GETS HIS HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA: So, that’s what has been kind of off about him.

FAVORITE FAUX BLOG: Margene’s Blog (margenes-blog.com). The lovable “Big Love” polygamist shares her thoughts on her sister-wives, Bill’s butcher and one unfortunate battle with diarrhea. Really.

BEST HEADLINE OF THE WEEK: “Andy Roddick interview interrupted by amorous koalas”

PROPOSED MORATORIUM: Can media outlets stop saying that their Web sites are “open 24-7”? We understand the concept of the Internet. Looking at you, CNN.

JASON ALEXANDER: NEW JENNY CRAIG SPOKESMAN: Dark day, since we prefer our George Constanzas chubby and awkward.

SCRIPT ARGUMENTS on ‘spider-man 4’: Who knew the “Spider-Man” movies even had scripts?

ADAM CAROLLA GETS A NBC COMEDY PILOT: There is no God.

CARLOS MENCIA, CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER GET ABC COMEDY PILOTS: There really is no God.

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