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From today’s b the paper…

It’s Fourth of July weekend, a weekend where we get together to commemorate the efforts of our forefathers, who selflessly fought for our independence. We show our appreciation and our patriotism in many ways.

We grill up a ton of heart-clogging American food. We slam down cans of the finest light beers America has to offer. We play horseshoes or cornhole — also known as beanbag toss to those who aren’t from naïve Midwestern states. We set off illegally purchased fireworks while listening to Bruce Springsteen. Can it get more American than that? Hardly.

But before we lather on the sunscreen and throw on the red, white and blue, we partake in a growing Independence Day tradition: We watch a bunch of fat guys and a freak of nature from Japan shove piles of greasy hot dogs down their throats as quickly as possible.

I’m not quite sure this is what George Washington and Thomas Jefferson had in mind. Read the rest of this entry »

The grand experiment continues. The entirety of b, the paper, available without a schlep to the bright orange box.

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comic-con preview ’08
8:30-9:30 p.m. {G4}
I’m not comic book dork-inclined, but those who are *cough b Art Director Tim Wong cough* assure me this is all sorts of important. In his words, “Yay!”

baby borrowers
9-10 p.m {WBAL-21} NBC
A sign the whole baby thing isn’t working out: Two of the “moms” are already handing their “kids” off to their own parents so they can work outside the home.

pulp fiction
9-11:30 p.m. {VH1}
Drinking game: Take a shot whenever the F-word is bleeped out of this edited version. You’ll be plastered in 10 minutes.

From today’s b, the paper

robot lust — error, error
This is probably bad timing, with “WALL-E” making us fall in love with robots again and such. But artificial intelligence expert David Levy thinks sex and love with robots could happen sooner than you might think — in about 50 years, according to a report published on ctv.ca.

Read the rest of this entry »

From today’s b the paper…

What the heck is going on around here? At the midway point of the 2008 season, Major League Baseball has been sucked into a bizarre, alternate universe, where a perennial doormat is a dark horse to win the American League East, a notorious, unlikable malcontent is keeping pace with A-Rod and Joe Mauer and the hometown Baltimore Orioles surprisingly aren’t that terrible.

Something’s not right here. I’m about to crawl into a bomb shelter for the next four months until the World Series is over, just in case. Read the rest of this entry »

From today’s b, the paper

celebrity family feud
8-9 p.m. {WBAL-21} NBC
Kathie Lee Gifford goes up against Dog the Bounty Hunter in a no holds barred battle of the families.

i love money: meet the all stars
9-10 p.m. {VH1}
Also known as “I Love Attention”, we take a not-so-in-depth look at the new compeition show with contestants pulled from “Rock of Love”, “Flavor of Love” and “I Love New York.”

primetime: the outsiders
10-11 p.m. {WMAR-12} ABC
Capuchin monkeys are raised as surrogate children by humans. No, seriously.

From today’s b, the paper

american gladiators
8-9 p.m. {WBAL-21} NBC
It’s not good enough that this week’s contestants lost a bunch of weight. Now they have to prove that they can go toe-to-toe with people named Venom and Tor. Otherwise, their weight loss is useless, really.

unfriendly skies: state of travel
9-10 p.m. {TRAVEL}
Lost luggage, pricey tickets, long lines. My solution? More peanuts.

the soup presents: tv under the influence
10-10:30 p.m. {E!}
I don’t know how they found enough intoxicated reality stars to profile. Clearly that was a difficult task.

From today’s b the paper…

For the past four years, Baltimore Ravens tight end and special teams specialist Daniel Wilcox has hauled in passes, made tackles and thrown blocks on the turf at M&T Bank Stadium. But on Saturday evening, he did something no Ravens player has ever done at the stadium — he exchanged his wedding vows.

Wilcox married Shauna Chin on the 50-yard line in front of friends and family, becoming the first Raven to get married at the stadium and the first wed on the field.

Read the rest of this entry »

From today’s b, the paper

dance machine
8-9 Friday {WMAR-12} ABC
Not sure what sets this apart from the 1,673 other dancing shows, but this one’s got an cashier from Africa competing against a Las Vegas mixed-martial artist, so … yay?!

u.s. olympic trials: swimming
8-9 p.m. sunday {WBAL-21} NBC
Go hometown heroes Michael Phelps and Katie Hoff!! And I guess the other people, too.

the singing office
9-10 p.m. sunday {TLC}
Sadly, we won’t see Michael Scott dueting with Dwight Schrute. This features real offices competing. Yeah, we’re talking 1-800-Dentist vs. a beauty salon. Summer TV is this bad.

From today’s b, the paper

I’ve been sitting home watching the Orioles games from Wrigley Field in glorious MASN HD the past three days, including Thursday’s pasting of the Cubs.

For once, I’m a grateful Orioles fan. I’m happy they’re marketing the team, selling a few tickets the past few weeks, getting people downtown to stimulate the city (even in the midst of a few murders three blocks from my home this week), winning some games and making their hardcore fans happy. I’m grateful that they’ve made it an interesting season for all of us.
Read the rest of this entry »