spongebob ipod dock
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? More like, who plays your music as loud as can be? Of course, the answer is SpongeBob SquarePants. Introducing the $40 SpongeBob iPod dock. Not only does he blast your music, but his eyes actually move to the beat. You say “creepy,” I say “cool.”

•••• Check it out @ shop.nickjr.com
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{Stock photo}

If we needed any more indication of just how much sway Senate President Thomas V. “Mike” Miller holds in this state, look no further than Gilbert Genn, a former state delegate.

Genn, out for a walk in Gaithersburg with the family dog, was ambushed by a deer.  Despite being knocked to the ground and stabbed in the back by the angry, antlered buck, Genn chose to postpone his trip to the emergency room in order to keep his appointment with Miller, according to wbal.com.

After the mauling (and the meeting), the Montgomery County Democrat did manage to make his way to the ER. Doctors examined Genn and recommended he receive rabies shots, a standard precaution anytime someone is attacked by a wild animal–or meets with Mike Miller in person.

No word on the buck’s party affiliation.

I’ve always said robots will one day rise up and rule us all. I just didn’t expect them to be a) British and b) have a really bad haircut

Jim Palmer {Baltimore Sun photo}

A nefarious new list is out, and it’ll have some Orioles fans cringing.  Pop news site Nerve announced its countdown of the 30 sluttiest athletes of all time, and Hall of Famer Jim Palmer has landed on it.  Ranked at a modest #27, Palmer is featured in one of his famous Jockey ads, wearing his baseball glove - and little else.

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You tube can be a very dangerous thing.

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action alarm clock

No more hitting the snooze button. Introducing the $33 Danger Bomb Alarm Clock. Every morning, a code is displayed on the screen. It’s up to you to put the appropriate wires together to turn it off. C’mon, it’s fun! All right, maybe not.

•••• Check this out @ geekstuff4u.com

eternal bubble wrap

A love for popping bubble wrap — it’s the one thing every human being could have in common. And now, there’s a better way than ever to get your fix. Introducing the $60 PuchiPuchi. Press the popping buttons and get your fix filled. Pop on!

•••• Check this out @ kilian-nakamura.com

never-tired head massager

Sure, you love massages. But, unless you live with a masseuse, you’re lucky to get your significant other to dole out one a week. Well, if you like head or scalp massages, you’re in luck. Place the $12 massager on your head and move it up and down for never-ending goodness. Aah.

•••• Check this out @ amazon.com

Matt Simon is a student at Goucher College. E-mail him at matt.r.simon@gmail.com. His column appears Wednesdays.

From today’s b, the paper

NSA: secret freaks?
The National Security Agency’s much-maligned wiretapping program might have included swapping details about private-citizen phone sex sessions.

The New York Times is reporting the Senate Intelligence Committee may investigate claims by two military eavesdroppers that they listened on calls from military officers, aid workers and journalists in Iraq.

One of the whistle-blowers, Arabic linguist David Murfee Faulk, told ABC News that eavesdroppers would often trade recordings of intimate calls for entertainment.

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From today’s, b the paper

Political buttons? The last time we checked, it wasn’t the 19th century. And bumper stickers? So 2004.

Modernize your candidate support with some of these offbeat options. There’s everything from John McCain- and Barack Obama-friendly dog clothes to condoms (Levi Johnston not available for comment). And we somehow found Joe Biden memorabilia, which proved as elusive as the Ark of the Covenant.

There’s just a few weeks to go before Nov. 4, so show your creative political pride while you can.

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{Photo courtesy of picturesonwalls.com}

From the scrawlings of bar bathroom Bukowskis to the magic marker maxims on bus windows, graffiti has achieved cult status in urban centers around the world.   Understandably, that doesn’t sit well with most.  For many, there’s nothing redeeming about someone using the 28th Street alligator mural to announce that “LaTia is a chickenhead.”  But for some, it’s damn near existential.

And then there’s the creators of Pictures of Walls.  They’ve assembled an online photo album of ironic, nonsensical and, at times, insightful misdemeanors submitted from all over North America and Europe.  Consider it a subversive homage to anyone who’s ever shaken a spray can in the middle of the night because they’ve had something to say.

Wisdom is everywhere.  We may not like where we find it.  We may not even understand it.  But it’s out there, and it’s hard not to notice - especially when it’s written in Sharpie on the roof of your car.

From todays b, the paper

The return of Fall Out Boy might have some of you excited for new music from the band, but Popeye is a little peeved.

Yes, Popeye. The Sailor Man.
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