A scene from “President’s Day”: Abe will honestly kill you {thanks, Chris LaMartina}

Abraham Lincoln: freer of slaves, wearer of hats, splitter of rails … spiller of brains?

In “President’s Day” (premiering 7:30 p.m. Monday at the Charles Theatre), the newest slasher comedy from local filmmakers Chris LaMartina and Jimmy George, a high-school election turns deadly (as it often does) when someone dressed as the 16th president begins dispatching candidates.

Democracy in action!

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Will it be one of the Voltaggio bros or Kevin Gillespie? The finale’s 10 p.m. Wednesday on Bravo. Here’s two sneak peeks:

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Time to Squidfire it up {thanks, Squidfire}

1. Squidfire’s Holiday Art Mart
Looking for unique holiday gift ideas? There will be plenty of DIY art and clothing options from more than 60 vendors at Squidfire’s Art Mart. There’s also no dealing with the weather, became the event is at Du Burns Arena in Canton. 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Saturday. Free. BRIAN KRISTA, B

2. Unsilent Night
For a (fairly) new holiday celebration that doesn’t reek of commercialism, join this parade of boomboxes (CD, cassette, MP3 all OK) blasting parts of Phil Kline’s “Unsilent Night.” No boombox? That’s OK, too. 6:45 p.m. Saturday at Penn Station; afterparty at Metro Gallery. Free. mobtownmodern.com ANNE TALLENT, B

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Strange things happen when a book series sells 70 million copies.

Now, as “New Moon, the second film in the “Twilight” saga smashes box office records (see box), “Nightlight” has landed in bookstores. It’s a parody written by the Harvard Lampoon, a group of Ivy League undergrads.

Penned by four Harvard students — two sophomore women and two senior men — “Nightlight” is a quick-reading, comedic send-up of the cultural phenomenon. Its 154 pages follow the “Twilight” template but change every detail, from the glossy black cover with a chewed-to-the core apple to the come-hither copy on the back jacket, which reads: “About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe.”

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The movie “Precious” debuts in limited release Nov. 6 and here in Baltimore Nov. 20 {Thanks, AP}

Most filmmakers will tell you they make movies to elicit a response. Some intend to make you laugh, some to make you cry, others to make you think. If you see “Precious,” you’ll probably be moved to tears and possibly laugh at points, but you’re certain to walk away thinking about the injustices suffered by Claireece “Precious” Jones.

You’ll also walk away reminded of the resiliency of the human spirit.

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Sarah Palin poses with Oprah and her daughters Piper (left) and Willow (right) {thanks, AP}

By the time Sarah Palin’s autobiography — “Going Rogue: An American Life” — officially hits book stores on Tuesday — there’ll be a legion of titles waiting to cash in, from unauthorized biographies to critical essays to a tongue-in-cheek coloring book.

That doesn’t even include the picture book “Terminatrix: The Sarah Palin Chronicles” — which superimposes her head on paintings and famous photos — and a boomlet of self-published books.

“There is something about her which is very hard not to be drawn into,” says Colin Robinson, co-publisher at OR Books, which is putting out a collection of essays pulled together by two senior editors at The Nation. “It might be a sort of adoration. Or it might be that one is appalled. But you can’t stop watching.”

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Mo’Nique brings her famous comedy act to late night {Thanks, AP}

The comedienne Mo’Nique is well aware of her ability to make people laugh. For years, she’s been cracking jokes — even ones where the laughter came at her own expense.

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Rev. Leo Patalinghug loves a good fajita smackdown {thanks, The Baltimore Sun}

When Rev. Leo Patalinghug was preparing his recipe for fajitas before the Food Network cameras, it took a producer to point out the surprise guest: celebrity chef Bobby Flay, who had come to Mount St. Mary’s University in Emmittsburg to challenge the priest to a cook-off.

Patalinghug, 39, the director of pastoral field education at Mount St. Mary’s Seminary, had been lured in front of the cameras for a supposed feature on his ministry. When he recovered from his shock, he looked directly into the cameras and adopted a tone of mock outrage: “Food Network, you lied to a priest!”

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She wanted to get out of there. She knew she would.

When she was 5, Sonja Sohn would crawl atop a generator behind her home in Tidewater Virginia. Her father would lie beside her. “I’d ask, ‘What’s the difference between an astronomer and an astrologer?’” she says. “He saw where I was going.”

He told her she could be a lawyer. She liked hearing that. But she also knew it wouldn’t be easy: Drugs permeated the streets of her rough neighborhood, drugs she’d later experiment with.
Sohn’s life would be a balancing act — between wanting to help others and having the resources and background to do so; escaping an abusive situation at home and having the guts to run away; filling life roles as mother, friend, actor and feeling fulfilled.

It’s a similar unwieldy line Sohn’s character on HBO’s Baltimore-set crime saga “The Wire,” Det. Kima Greggs, had to walk — Kima could be tough-as-nails one scene and show heartbreaking vulnerability the next.

After all these years, Sohn’s standing straight on life’s tightrope. “A lifelong purpose has meant a lot of me,” says Sohn. “I’ve been on that search since I was 5 years old.”

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Smiley Maryland daredevil Travis Pastrana {thanks, MTV}

Rumor has it Travis Pastrana did a backflip the day he was born — and stuck the landing.

That’s the story, at least, according to travispastrana.com. Though the Annapolis-born motocross and rally car champ’s Web site stretches the truth about his birth, the action sport athlete’s extreme feats seem just as impossible.

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